Friday, October 15, 2010

Not enough time...

I shouldn't be writing this blog right now. Even with months since my last blog, so much to catch up on and two months worth of divulging to do....I still don't have time to be blogging right now.

I am definitely having one of those weeks where I feel like there isn't enough time in the day for me to get the things I want to accomplish done. If I feel like this now with a full time job, how am I going to feel if I really get my business up and going? Or when we really start planning the wedding, or when we have kids?

All these things have been wearing on me lately.

I barely have time to tend to my one customer I have for my Write on Red business, which stirs this fear within me that I shouldn't pursue the business like I want to because I'll fail. Josh and I are venturing on another part-time business together that will be another addition to our time.

We're church-hunting which is emotionally stressful. I know going to church shouldn't feel that way, but stepping through different doors each week, not knowing what you're about to encounter, it's nerve-wracking.

In addition, there's cooking dinner, watering the garden, walking the dog, doing laundry, reading books for book club...which brings me to another frustration that I barely have time to read those books, and I only realize more that I don't have enough me time because I can't read other books that I want to read. My bookshelf is seriously beckoning me....every day. I wish my office was set up already as a reading and work sanctuary, instead of the landing space for everything in the house.

Then there's plain old quiet time, devotion time. Me and my Daddy time...I haven't picked up my Bible in weeks! Sure, I pray all the time...but I want more.

And Josh....our time seems to be so rushed now. Our Netflix movies have stalled. The three we currently have out have been sitting in a pile for about two weeks because we haven't gotten a chance to watch them. Our queue is stagnant. (All those movies I'm waiting to watch!) And let's not even talk about the movies that have been hitting theater that Josh and I have missed out on. One of our favorite things to do together is go to the movies and I honestly can't remember the last time we went.

If I don't make time for the things that are important to me now, how will I be able to do it when life gets busier? When there are more things demanding my time?

Now that I've really laid it all on the table and complained to whoever you are reading this, I'm going to put a smile on my face, thank God for the people in my life and the opportunities we have been given, and face the day!

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Here's to the weekend!

1 comment:

Mars said...

Very nice blog. Youre quite interesting. When does your novel come out? I'd be the first to buy it.