Tuesday, August 21, 2007

new Plan of actions

Ok, so I know I've changed my mind a million times, but I'm allowed to! Its ok...so here's the new plan for school...I'm finishing my AA this semester at FCCJ, still applying to UNF as a back up plan, totally ditched the UF idea...but I'm going to pick 4 additional random schools around Florida to apply to, all over the state. I want to get out of Jacksonville for a while and I think this is the best time to do it. So hopefully, come January, I'll be moving...somewhere, anywhere!
As of now, the only other one i've looked at, but it is enticing, is University of West Florida in Pensacola. I know people who live there so I wouldn't be completely alone. Plus, ironically, after I looked at the website, I found out they're voted top 100 for Public Relations...how perfect! I just want to live somewhere away from here, somewhere beautiful, somewhere Different! I need a change. so....Please pray with me about this decision. It's kinda last minute considering this is in 5 months, i have to apply for these schools, visit them if necessary, get the money (applying for loans - its the only way moving away is gonna happen), get accepted, and decide! And, if anyone has any suggestions of schools to look into, please let me know! I'm not even really looking for big schools that everyone else we know is at, like UF, FSU, USF, etc....I'm kinda interested in smaller not big name schools around.
Good luck with school this semester to everyone who is starting/started!

Monday, August 13, 2007

New friend

So, this new person is in my life. He's wonderful, sweet, charming, good looking, caring, attentive, funny, responsible...everything I could ask for in a guy. We've been having so much fun, being silly, talking, doing a lot of fun things together without any expectations. It's a really good thing.
The no expectations part has taught me that I can be with someone and not have to expect them to be my everything. I can be with them and not fulfill thier every need. We can be together just because we enjoy eachother's company, not because we NEED eachother.
There is a high chance that this person may move away, which would ultimatly be the ending point of our summer fling (I never thought i'd have one of those!). He has a potential opportunity to move back home to be with his family and start a new beginning.
I'm writing this now, at this point of uncertainty, so i can say beforehand, before any decisions are officially made by him or any offers are made, i want to say that I support his decision no matter what. I want him to stay if thats whats best for him, but I most definatly want him to go if that is the better road he must follow. I don't want to be sad in the end, only hopeful of a friendship to continue from this attraction we've found. If we enjoy eachother, and this ends without any personal grudges, why not try for a friend out of the situation?
And...if he stays, I hope I have the strength to continue on this path of lighthearted attraction, growth, and trust.

Monday, August 6, 2007

A breath of fresh air

This life is nothing less than extraordinary, let me tell you! Every day is something new, even when my days melt together from the summer heat and I grow bored from the mundane schedule of just work, and nothing more. I'm getting pretty antsy waiting on school to start back up again. It's been four months since I've used my brain I feel like! Having classes and homework and studying again will definatly help me get back into the swing of things.
This summer has been a great turning point for me. So much has changed over the last four months, some things i'm not sure if I can actually pinpoint, while other's are quite apparant.
The lifestyle I was living before allowed a lot of uncertainty and heartache in and those are things I truly don't desire to have apart of my life. I know there are still things I need to work on and accomplish before acheiving the fullest quality of life, but it's a process and I'm content with where I am at this point along the path.
There has been a shift in the people I've been hanging out with, the activities I've been including myself in, and the outlook on life that I have aquired/am aquiring. People will always come and go and I do look at every relationship, whether lengthy or not, an opportunity for growth, whether that person specifically teaches you something or you just learn from observing them.
I hope, myself, to be one that can reflect my life on others, where they can learn from me. I want to, in turn, be able to help others through what I've gained from them.
I don't want to use the cliche quote "everything happens for a reason" here because I believe that everyone creates thier own destiny. Yes, there is a higher authority, God has a plan, but you decide what you are going to do with those tools, those relationships.
So this blog is an inspiration for myself, to continue creating my own destiny, figuring out daily what I want to put into creating me! Yes, I'm only 19 and just wanna have fun and live life day to day, make mistakes and learn from them, and flow with the wind; but I also want all of those experiences to create a better me.
So, here's to creating our own destiny's.