Sick and antsy

So as I shared in my most recent blog, sitting at home and being un-productive is not one of my favorite things. When I woke up this morning to discover I had a sore throat and wasn't feeling well at all, I called into work...and haven't done much since then.

Whatever I have is not the worst thing in the world, I don't feel like I'm dying, but I feel like I have no energy. My head is throbbing, my throat and ears hurt, and I have a small fever, so I have done little besides lay in bed, nap, and read.

When I awoke from my nap I began to feel like I was breathing in dirty air, and all the sudden I had this urge to start cleaning. I've been going slow, its definitely not the most productive cleaning spree but I took the dirty sheets off the bed and threw them in the wash, fabreezed the bedroom, wiped down everything and dusted, and put pet deodorizer on the carpet but still have yet to vacuum.

Well, my cup of tea is empty now so I suppose I should venture back upstairs to vacuum and put some clean sheets on the bed....so I can fall into them.

His mercies are new every morning...

So it has been quite some time since I last blogged, my Europe trip to be exact. Life has been quite a whirlwind since then. I don't really think anyone reads this so it is not here to serve the purpose of updating readers on every detail of my life. (They're really not that exciting, I promise. Plus, that's what Facebook status updates are for :))

Today I am writing as a way to express my gratitude for how things seem to fall together. I am so thankful I serve a God who answers prayers, and who sees what is in my heart, both needs and desires, and fulfills them to His glory.

I recently have been praying a lot about my life working out for the purpose to pleasing God. I know I never thought I'd find myself in this place several years ago, but here I am. I ended up here with every decision I have made and I feel like I am finding my way every day, becoming more of me. There's really no telling how things turn out and how life surprises you along the way. I just keep hoping this is all happening this way for a reason...that I'm on the right path.

Yesterday I was having a really difficult time feeling unhappy and not fulfilled with my day-to-day life. I work and that's about it. I love my job, but I don't feel like I'm making enough to get by. And I'm still not used to coming home and not being a college student anymore. I still get antsy watching tv all night. I get frustrated not having things to do on the weekends. I don't have friends here so that makes a social life pretty non-existant...let's just be honest here.

So yesterday I was letting all this out on Josh, explaining to him how I feel like I'm missing out on something, like I need more of a life here. All the while I was feeling even more horrible than I already did feel because I was basically telling him he wasn't enough to make me happy. that is not what I meant at all but I knew that was how he was taking it. We both decided we would like extra ciricular activities in our lives but that funds were keeping us from that at this point.

So, today is a new day. And God clearly proved that his mercies are new every day. I got a phone call first thing this morning from a woman who found an ad for babysitting I posted on craiglist(and got no response from until now) and asked if I could dog sit for her for a week, and that she would be interested in me babysitting for her in the future. So that was a small promise of extra funds. Then I got an email from the local Hadassah chapter here with an invite to a luncheon that just happens to be on a weekend that Josh will be out of town. Another small promise of networking, friends and activities.

I know that my relationship with the Lord has to be my number one priority, and if I'm seeking him and what he wants for my life, He will start to show me where he wants me. So this morning was just a little reminder of that.

Home

The last post I made was while I was in Europe. It has now been several weeks since I returned back to the states, and at that time I had no idea where my life was headed. At that point I was unaware of where I would live (Jacksonville or Niceville). I had no idea what kind of work I would be doing or if I'd be unemployed. I didn't know if I'd be sharing a room with my little brother in my parents' house (yes, that was the plan). All I knew was that I was stressed when I got home from Europe. I was so excited to see Josh when I got to the airport. I didn't realize how much I had missed him because the whole time I was in Europe I was telling myself I had to get used to missing him if I were moving to Jacksonville, so I never really let myself miss him. Until I saw him, that is. I don't think I've ever been so excited to see someone before. He truly is the sweetest guy I know! I am so blessed to have him in my life.
Anyway, I was so lucky to be able to have a four day weekend to go back to Jacksonville and visit my family. I love everyone in my family so much. I'm so lucky to have such a big, loving family and I honestly miss them every day.
So, an amazing story - I got a job! It was miraculous how it worked out. I ended up changing my flight back home two days earlier than planned. I came home on Saturday night instead of the following Monday. On Monday I got a call from a woman who knew I was on the hunt for a job and said she had a friend who was the executive director of a non profit domestic violence shelter who needed an administrative assistant right away. I called her, interviewed on Tuesday, and started working on Wednesday. I have been working at Shelter House for 4 weeks now and I absolutely love it. Its a really rewarding job and I honestly enjoy going to work every day.
I feel like I'm starting to build a life for my own now here in Niceville and while i miss being around my family and the two good friends I had left in Jacksonville, I feel being here is best for me. I love having Josh's family close by and going to work every day, meeting new people, and getting involved in the community.
Speaking of which, time to make dinner!

Last week of Europe, Days 12 - 17

So, it's been a busy week! Saturday Margot and I took a 6 hour train ride to Berlin, Germany. There, we met my dad at the train station where he met us from Poland. It was the first time I saw Tamir in a year and a half and I'm still having a hard time putting the experience and my feelings about the meeting into words. Let's just say it answered a lot of questions and I'm glad I saw him, however, nothing much has changed and I don't see another reunion in the near future. But here's a picture of the new Tamir and I infront of Friendship Fountain in Berlin.
Berlin is a city of 800 museums, so Margot and I decided it would be a great place to finally do museums. We went and saw where the Berlin wall was and went to the Checkpoint Charlie museum, the Judaism museum, and the zoo because Berlin has the world's largest amount of species. It's a beautiful city with a blend of new and old architecture.

We returned from Berlin on Monday night and then Tuesday morning I flew to London by myself. I spent the day walking around London alone and it was a wonderful experience in such a beautiful city. It was very invigorating, peaceful and liberating wondering around a city I've never been in another country alone just exploring, wondering around streets, waiting to see what lies around the corner. I saw Westminister Abbey, heard Big Ben chime at 1:00 p.m., ate lunch at the park by the London Eye and had a glass of wine at a pub while I read my book. I really had the best day! Then i took a two hour train ride to Bournemouth where Dan and Nicole picked me up and we went to a pub for trivia night...best part - our team won! The Seven Deadly Sinners :) Being with them made me feel like I was at home in another city, I was with family, and I loved every minute of it, thanks guys!
On Wednesday, we drove to Salisbury where we saw a beautiful cathedral that houses one of the last remaining four copies of the Magna Carta. It was exquisite. I had some fish and chips, and we saw the beach at night which was beautiful. The country side is just gorgeous. Today I took two buses and a plane back to Holland, and I have one more day to enjoy Europe before I fly home Saturday. Ready for home...

Day 11 - Fri. Aug. 21

So I finally visited Amsterdam today! After a relaxing day yesterday, Margot, Paul and I took the train to Amsterdam and met their friend Flores. We took a boat tour along the canals. After that, Paul had a meeting because he's joining a fraternity at the university he'll be attending in Amsterdam. Today he had to check in and got a list of things he needed to do/buy for their first frat meeting Sunday. So we helped him on his scavenger hunt and ran around Amsterdam picking up business cards from places and doing random things on the check list. It was actually fun because I saw parts of Amsterdam I probably wouldn't have seen otherwise. I went by the Anne Frank House but the line to go in was soo long and we were on a time crunch, so we're going back next week for the day to do some museums.
After we were done with everything on the checklist, we drove to get dinner then had dessert at this little outside place that serves Poffertjes, or small, puffed pancakes, with powdered sugar. They're a Dutch favorite, and quite delicious I must say!
Tomorrow is an early day so I'm off to bed!

Day 9 - Wed. Aug. 19

so today was a pretty low key day, as will be the next day or two, which is fine with me! We slept in, because Margot and I both haven't been sleeping well. We ate breakfast while each reading our Twilight books, I'm on the first, she was on the last. After taking it easy in the morning, we headed to an outlet here in Paris which was supposed to be really great. There was honestly no more sight seeing we could have done, and not a lot of walking i was willing to do. So i didn't buy anything really but Margot had the most amazing thing happen - and yes, it is worth blogging about!
Ok, so there was a winter jacket, quite beautiful, marked down to 119 euros. She decided she would put it on her credit card and it would be worth it. As we walk to pay for everything, he says the total is 90 euros for her entire purchase (several things, including the coat). She pays, excitedely, and we rush out the front door and start screaming. No way did that man just sell her an already marked down jacket that should have been 119 euros for, brace yourselves....12.5 euros!!!!!!!!!!!
So now you can imagine out excitement!! The man clearly made a mistake and later on Margot admitted that what she did was probably called stealing, but it wasn't her fault. And anyway, I made up for it later tonight because as we were getting off the metro, our last metro ride in Paris, to come home, I saw a guy trying to get a metro pass but the desk was closed. So I gave him mine and told him it was an unlimited pass that could be used until Sunday. He was very grateful and it made me happy that I could do that for him.
After the exciting shopping experience, we met Ileen at the British embassy here where her boyfriend works and they were having a staff party. So we sat and ate dinner there then headed home. Nothing too exciting, especially because it was excruciating walking around in 90+ degree heat all day. But I have to say, the most exciting part of my day, was talking to my sweet, handsome boyfriend on Skype. He is quite wonderful and I love and miss him very much!
ok, i'm done kfvelling about him. More about Europe later!

Day 8 - Tues. Aug. 18

Today was day two of paris and it was fabulous! We did so much walking in the last two days that my body physically is aching. My legs are still tingling from standing and walking to much. I think we saw every single major monument plus more that is in Paris. Today we started off by visiting the Eiffel Tower which was absolutely gorgeous. Just being there so close was incredible.

Then we went walked, a lot, along the water, to Musee d'Orsay. The art was incredible, the walking, exhausting. But being surrounded by such beauty was humbling.

After that we ate some bread and cheese on a park bench then headed to the Notre Dame. The structure is absolutely beautiful!

The day ended late because we met up with Ileen for dinner and drinks then took a long walk to the metro station and a long ride home. Now i'm going to lay in bed and read more of my twilight book and have a good night's sleep!

Day 7 - Aug. 17

Today was PARIS!!!! Only day one, we have two more full days here of exploring, then back to Holland on Thursday. Anyway, this is a picture of Margot and I infront of the Moulin Rouge. Much smaller and not as impressive as I thought, so just for the viewers, here's another picture....something with a little more view!

Not to worry, the Eiffel Tower is coming soon! So anyway, we started the day not as early as we hoped. Margot apparently woke me up the first time at 8:30 this morning and then two more times, until I finally woke up at 10:15! I don't know whats wrong with me but i've been sleeping a lot here! So we went to the tram station and got our week passes which was totally worth the 22 euros because you rely on the tram so much in such a big city! So here's what we saw:
Sacre-coeur
Moulin Rouge
Musee du Louvre (from da vinci code!)
opera national
Arc de Triomphe
All very beautiful but my feet are tired from walking so I'm going to go to bed now and rest for tomorrow, another day of being a tourist in this beautiful city! All pictures are being uploaded on facebook so check them out!

Day 6 - Sun. Aug. 16

So not much to talk about today but i didn't want to skip a post:) So we drove 5 hours and got into Paris around 9 p.m. we are staying with margot's boyfriend's sister, ileen and her british boyfriend. they have an apartment in paris and you can see the Eiffel tower from the room we're staying in. Quite beautiful. We made an itinerary for monday thru wednesday of all the places we want to visit and places to eat along the way. So tomorrow starts our sight seeing! we're going to buy a museum pass and a tram pass and we're trying to fit as much in as possible. details and pictures coming soon! Going to bed, its 11 p.m. here, got to get a lot of rest for our busy tourist week!

Day 5 - Sat. Aug. 15

Saturday was a great day. We took our time packing in the morning. Afer we booked our train tickets to go to Berlin next week, a part of the trip I'm very excited about, we hit the road and drove to Dan Haag where Margot's cousin Clair lives. She lives in the center of the city which reminds me more of NYC rather than a quaint, small, cute city like others I've been to since I got here. She lives in student housing above a shop in the middle of the city. There are 3 floors of students living in this building and she is on the top. We climbed 3 sets of very awkwardly shaped and sized steps to get here but it is the cutest apartment. She shares a bathroom and kitchen with the other students. We went to the Albert Hein and picked up some wine and frozen pizzas to cook for dinner, stopped and had a nice appetizer at an outdoor restaurant, then headed home and listened to music, danced and ate until midnight when we finally headed out on the town to a place called Danzig. It's down the street from Clair's apartment, and we danced there until 4 in the morning when my body decided to shut down and i was tired beyond words. We headed home then and slept until one this afternoon. Now we're hitting the road for a 6 hour drive to Paris. More to come soon :)

Europe Trip - Days 1-4

So I am starting late, but I will be blogging as often as possible, on my day-to-day experience during my Europe trip. I will start from the beginning.

Day 1 - Tues. Aug. 11

Margot picked me up from the Amsterdam airport at 8:30 am local time, which was 1:30 in the morning for me. We didn't waste any time though. I went to her family's summer house and showered, we had some coffee and breakfast then went into town for some grocery shopping. The local grocery store here is Albert Hein, a sister company of Albertson's...sound familiar? Everything is so clean and orderly here. It's amazing! At the store we got breads, cheeses, fish, tuna, meats, spreads, juices, wine, beer, and some chips and snacks. Lots to munch on!
That evening after I took a nice nap we went out for dinner with their neighbors to a restaurant on the water called The Otter.

Day 2 - Wed. Aug. 12

My first full day in Holland we went to Utrecht, where Margot lives. This is an area where a lot of students live and it is absolutely gorgeous. It was rainy so we had to lug around rain jackets and umbrellas but I loved walking around in the rain being surrounded by such beauty. Everything is green here!
We ate lunch at Olivier, a Belgium cafe. Then we just walked around and sat at a cafe in the center and had a glass of wine and cheese and olives and people watched. Later on, Margot's mom, dad and sister Roos met us in Utrecht and we ate dinner at an Asian cuisine restaurant called Opium. We had the greatest conversation and shared wine and great food! It is such a pleasure eating here, especially with her family! They are on vacation so everything is pretty decadent where we've eaten. But also, everything is so relaxed. We take our time and sit for hours. But at the same time, we end up eating a ton of food! Everyone here orders a starter to themselves and then a main course, in addition to bread or some other sort of table starter. It's quite filling. I can't do this every day for the rest of my trip!

Day 3 - Thurs. Aug. 13

We woke up to dreary weather, it wasn't raining, but it definitely wasn't nice out. A bit chilly, too. Some days are really sunny and beautiful, in the 70's while others are dark and cold. But Margot and I got in the car and drove to Antwerp, Belgium. The drive was about an hour and a 1/2 and when we drove into town, the sun came out and we enjoyed a great day. The architecture is absolutely gorgeous there. Everything was old and beautiful. We ate mussels, which is what Belgium is famous for, and shared a Beglium waffle from a street vendor which was without a doubt the most amazing thing I've ever had. We took a tour around the town on a small bus, and did some window shopping. Then we went to a Mexican cantina off of this tiny street that was secluded and quite. We were the only ones at the restaurant! Let me stop and say, do you realize how many times I've mentioned food!? its crazy and definitely starting to catch up with me. But I'm enjoying it too much. We barely ate much food there because we were really full after the appetizer. But we made the trek home and went out last night to a bar that margot used to work at, and her boyfriend Paul currently works there, so we visited him while he was working. This was in Amersfoort in Holland. The day ended great because I got to talk to Josh on Skype for the first time since I left! It was nice seeing my honey's face :)

Day 4 - Fri. Aug. 14

Today was lovely! We slept in til 12 and met Margot's family at a restaraunt by the summer house. They took the boat from the summer house to the Brasserie Kompas. We sat outside from 3-7 and had wine and lots of great food! I noticed today that I can sit around the table and listen to everyone speak Dutch and sometimes they will interpret what someone said in English, or they will speak English for a bit, but even when they're speaking Dutch, I can usually understand what they're talking about. This is sometimes, not all the time, but for the most part, I can get the gist of what's being said, not what exactly they're saying, but I'm catching on slowly. And reading menus is getting easier and easier :)
After our meal we took the boat back to the summer house and had some coffee then took the speed boat back to the restaurant to get our car. On the way Paul went wakeboarding which looks like a lot of fun and I want to try it but it was way too cold tonight to attempt that.
From there, Margot, Paul and I went to Amersfoort and walked around the center and met up with some of their friends. We drank tea, I tried a rose beer they have here, and ate some bitter balls (typical Dutch fast food that look like hush puppies but are filled with some sort of meat) and now I'm home in bed uploading pictures and finishing this blog. From here I hope to update daily, but we'll see :) Tomorrow we're off to Dan Haag to visit Margot's cousin, Clare.

2 Years

Today marks two years since I started one of the greatest journeys I've embarked upon. The boy next door has become my closest friend and I have enjoyed every moment we've been together thus far. We've grown together, learned from each other, helped one another but greatest of all, we've formed a love that is unique, comfortable, exciting and ever changing. I thank God daily for allowing me to enjoy everyday with such an amazing person and am excited for what lies ahead. Happy 2 years baby!

Visit Pensacola!

VisitPensacola is Pensacola's CVB, or convention and visitors bureau. I'm interning with the tourism department as the PR/Marketing intern this summer. One of my jobs is to write blogs for the VisitPensacola's blog about events going on to get visitors to travel to Pensacola.

Check out VisitPensacola's blog to read my articles and see some great things going on for locals and visitors!

Some other Pensacola CVB websites are:
Pensacola Celebrity Chefs
VisitPensacola
Celebrate Pensacola
Follow VisitPensacola on Twitter
VisitPensacola on MySpace
VisitPensacola on YouTube

Beacon

This is a video a friend of mine made from the song "Beacon" by Goliath Flores. She dedicated it to her mother, but I just wanted to share it here because both the song and the video is so beatuiful.

Enjoy!

Testing 1, 2, 3...

I am not alone

The last few months have been filled with planning and lots of unknowns as I am graduating college soon. Moving from my current house and not knowing where I will be living for the summer. Then what happens in the fall when I'm officially done my classes? Where should I work? Should I go to grad school? Do I want to get further in debt? What should I go to grad school for? What do I want to do/be? As all these questions were swimming through my mind, I broke down.
I was in Jacksonville with my family over Spring Break and had a very difficult time that week specifically sorting everything out within myself. I wish I had a picture of the future so I could pick the best steps to get there, but I don't know where i'll end up, and I certainly don't know the best way to get to that unknown point.
So on a Sunday morning in March while I was at church with my family, I felt God just say to me, "I will love you no matter what you choose to do"...and I just lost it. I cried and cried because of the joyous realization that I am loved no matter where I live or what I do for a living. The fact that I don't need to get a Masters in order for God to love me or "approve" was so relieving to realize.
Now, as graduation is just weeks away, I still have many unknowns. I have made some decisions that have allowed for more flexibility in my life and I know that everything will fall into place as time goes on. But since that Sunday in March, I know that no matter what decisions I make, I am not alone.

Passover and Easter

This was my first year celebrating Easter instead of Passover, which is what my Messianic Jewish family does every year. This year, however, I wasn't able to make it back to Jacksonville to be with my family, so I spent Resurrection Day with Josh's family in Niceville.

We went all out - I dyed eggs, did an easter egg hunt and even got an Easter basket from Josh's parents! I am so thankful to be embraced by his family and included in their traditions, and I couldn't ask for a better family to be surrounded by.

However, what this year taught me is that as always, Jesus is the reason for the season, and that this holiday is so much more than colored eggs and bunnies. My God is alive and rose from the grave and is coming back to us!!

Below are two links, one my Grammy wrote in her blog, and the other is an article she wrote of the misconceptions of Easter and the true meaning of Passover.
Blog
What's Wrong with Easter?

In the meantime, here are some pictures of my first Easter:

Life Goes On

Hey there!

So I'm in Jacksonville enjoying the lovely whether and my last Spring break before I graduate college! It's quite crazy. I feel like I have a lot on my mind lately but have had a hard time finding a way to let it out. Usually writing or blogging is that outlet for me, but lately i've just been taking it to the Lord, resting in His peace, and things have been really falling into place. I'm am so grateful! He has been teaching me to think before I speak, take time for myself, relax and regroup when needed. And I am reminded that it is all in HIS time, and life goes on...

For the rest of the week I'm just enjoying the sun, great friends, spending time with my family whom I love so much, reading a good book, jet skiing, shopping, working a few days and just relaxing!! But I want to leave you with a video that a local artist here in Jacksonville just made. It's a Jasmine Rhey original, so please watch her video and keep your eyes open for her. She's doing a lot of amazing things around Jacksonville and performs regularly at clubs and venues. She definitely deserves a lable too!

Enjoy :)
Jasmine Rhey's "Life Goes On"

i wish we had technology like this when I was a kid!

______ makes me feel important.

I am the oldest of four children. Recently my mom remarried and now there are six of us kids in our family. Still, I am the oldest. Being a big sister to four sisters and a brother makes me feel important.
I have ten eyes looking at me at all times, watching my every move, waiting to see what comes next.
I have ten ears listening to me, hanging onto my every word, anxious to hear my thoughts.
I am an example of what to do and what not to do.
I am a role model whether I know it or not.
I am both the secret keeper and the one who they can’t tell anything to.
I’m the one to take advice from and the one who everyone does the opposite of.
It makes me feel important when Libi tells me about the boys she likes.
It makes me feel important when people compliment Shiri on her makeup and she tells them, ‘I learned from my sister’.
It makes me feel important when Alyssa asks me to sleep with her in her bed when I visit home.
It makes me feel important when Andrea runs into my arms when I walk in the room.
It makes me feel important when Jordan picks me up because he’s 16 and bigger than me.
My five younger siblings make me feel important because I am the oldest of six children, and I’m the big sister.

John Kerry in Israel

Please click here to see a video of John Kerry in Israel, speaking of the ongoing war between Palestinians and Israelis.

"[The visit] does not indicate any shift whatsoever with respect to Hamas... what it indicates is our effort to listen and to learn."

It's nice to know they're paying attention.

leadership

"Leaders must be tough enough to fight, tender enough to cry, human enough to make mistakes, humble enough to admit them, strong enough to absorb the pain, and resilient enough to bounce back and keep on moving."

- Jesse Jackson, from his speech The Rainbow Coalition, 1984

Billion $$ bail out

so I'm curious to see what others feel about this bill that Obama passed today. If you haven't already heard details, please check out this link: $787 billion bailout.
I have had mixed feelings about such a large bail out from the beginning. Now it seems too late to weigh the pro's and con's...but I would like to hear what you think. Is this a good step for America or is this something we'll look back on and regret?

A new day has come

Today marked a historic day for American history as we all know. This day held so many different meanings for so many people. While watching the inauguration on ABC today I saw the tears fall from so many eyes, the smiles, the look of hope and excitement upon the faces of such different walks of life. Old and young gathered to watch this history take place. Black and white. American and not.

As a critic of rhetoric, I watched in anticipation of what Obama would say in his first speech as our President. As a Republican, I had reservations as to what this day meant. As a conservative, I held uncertainty within me. As a citizen, I was giddy with the excitement of the history that I was watching. But as an American, I now have a hope that brings with it a peace and sense of serenity in the fact that our president will serve his country with a passion that has been lacking for some time now. The "energy" that was talked about so frequently by the reporters today is infectious and I hope it won't die out, but I hope that energy turns into drive and that produces action which in turn will bring results for our economy, our education, and for Israel. I hope to see those three things that are dear to my heart thrive in the presidency of Barack Obama.

I did not vote for you, Obama, and I will not so boldly use the words John McCain stated in his concession speech, for I will only serve my Lord, but I support you, and my prayers are with you.