Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I am not alone

The last few months have been filled with planning and lots of unknowns as I am graduating college soon. Moving from my current house and not knowing where I will be living for the summer. Then what happens in the fall when I'm officially done my classes? Where should I work? Should I go to grad school? Do I want to get further in debt? What should I go to grad school for? What do I want to do/be? As all these questions were swimming through my mind, I broke down.
I was in Jacksonville with my family over Spring Break and had a very difficult time that week specifically sorting everything out within myself. I wish I had a picture of the future so I could pick the best steps to get there, but I don't know where i'll end up, and I certainly don't know the best way to get to that unknown point.
So on a Sunday morning in March while I was at church with my family, I felt God just say to me, "I will love you no matter what you choose to do"...and I just lost it. I cried and cried because of the joyous realization that I am loved no matter where I live or what I do for a living. The fact that I don't need to get a Masters in order for God to love me or "approve" was so relieving to realize.
Now, as graduation is just weeks away, I still have many unknowns. I have made some decisions that have allowed for more flexibility in my life and I know that everything will fall into place as time goes on. But since that Sunday in March, I know that no matter what decisions I make, I am not alone.

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