Last night I attended a candlelight vigil ceremony for a UWF student who killed himself last Tuesday. I didn't know this kid personally, but we did have a lot of the same friends.
Like many stories you hear of depression gone wrong, this guy was a superstar, popular, fraternity brother, funny, good student, good looking. Many people called him a friend and said he lit up the room.
So why then did he feel the desire to end his life so soon? What was it that his friends and family couldn't fix in his life that was so bad? What was it that caused him to feel these deep pangs of depression? What was it that made him unreachable? What was it that provoked him to purchase a gun, and try not once, but twice to end his life in the most selfish way of all?
Suicide is so confusing and unclear to me...if this kid believed in God, but couldn't find the strength to go on, does he go to Heaven? Isn't God supposed to provide a peace that surpasses all understanding? Why then, did this guy not possess this Peace? Is it fair that he just got tired of being here feeling the way that he did, so he just decided to leave early? Why can't we all just check out early if we're unhappy with where we are?
We can't because we haven't fulfilled our destiny. We will leave so many behind who will be hurt and in pain, sad and angry. Did this guy think of these things before he took his own life? Before he gave up?
I guess my question is, what makes us happy? What is it in life that pushes us, even though the hard times, to keep going?
RIP - T.L.K.