Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Time to play catch up

I like to think of myself as an organized person who is on top of things and, for the most part, is in control of her own life....well, lately, I am realizing other things about myself. Being in the situation that I have found myself in, I am forced to be introspective and ask myself questions I never thought I'd have to ask myself, and see how I react in situations, both good and bad. Sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised with how well I keep myself together, how "whole" I feel no matter how crazy things seem around me. However, there are those other moments, where I'm faced with negativitiy, and I fall apart, yes, really...just crumble to pieces.

About a month ago, I had one of those moments...where I lost all control of myself and just cried, and cried and cried. I didn't even know if these tears were tears of joy or sorrow. I think there is one word to describe what was going on inside of me that literally pushed the tears to the brim of my existance and created a waterfall out of my eyes....I was overwhelmed. That's all there is to it...I wasn't depressed - my life is full of greatness and joy and love. I wasn't extatic - there was a lot going on that could have brought me down. I was just plain overwhelmed.
What happened at that moment that caused me to fall apart was a phone call that, yet again, changed the course of our if that hasn't been happening enough lately. Josh called to tell me that we were moving back to Destin. Yes, back...after only two months of living in Baton Rouge, after four job interviews, after an almost job offer (I could feel it coming), after countless days of lounging around feeling useless, after so many home cooked dinners I was so excited to make in our own place. Long story short, a week later, we were back in Niceville, staying with his parents, where we still reside for the time being.

It was a good move, we are excited to be back, but this season of transition isn't over yet and its exhausting me. Josh will go back to Baton Rouge temporarily for a month in August while I stay in Niceville with his parents and fill in at my old job for someone, which is such a blessing! In the meantime, I'll be launching my new business, stay tuned for details! Hopefully, I'll find a job on the side to keep things steady and we will move into our own place in September when Josh returns from Baton Rouge.
Yes, things will look up. They're not really down now, they're just not normal....but who's to say what normal is anyway? Not me, that's for sure! But I am thankful for the opportunity to be tested, and know that Josh and I work well under pressure together. The uprooting we have been through together have brought us closer, instead of the negative alternative of causing a rift in our relationship. I'm learning to be patient, with finances, with love, with with things getting done and happening when I want them done....I'm letting go a bit. I'm trying to go with the flow, see where God leads me. As Josh puts it, not counting my chickens before they hatch.
In the midst of all the chaos, I have had some amazing times with people I love so much. Mid July, my life-long friend Katy got married and we had a mini reunion in Atlanta.

Right after this fabulous weekend, just when I thought I couldn't have any more fun with old friends, Josh and I jumped in the truck and headed to Jacksonville just 4 days after I returned from Atlanta and met Danielle, Mark and Lilli at my mom's. Katy and Ren joined us and then we headed to Orlando to get our free day at Disney world that we got for participating in the Disney Give a Day, Get a Day program. This was quite possibly the most fabulous weekend of my life! To see more pictures, check out my album on Facebook.
So, now July is coming to an end and I'm starting to get back to what somewhat resembles a normal life of a twenty-two year old (yes, I had a birthday!)
I will try to update this blog more often as I don't want my twenties to pass me by. I want to start spending more time reflecting on what is going on around me, both in the world and in my personal life.

That's all....for now :)

1 comment:

Jada's Gigi said...

You are growing up so beautifully! Love you!