It's been a while...

So, it's been a year since I've last written, and I can't say that anything exceptionally exciting is going on, but I love looking back at what I've written about my life in the past, so I don't want to let my college experience go by without documenting it (at least my senior year of it).

Well, I've just begun my senior year at UWF. Right now I'm sitting in the great hall of the commons on campus listening to a forum about voting and the current presidential election. Speaking of which - I am registered to vote as an independent, but I am just going to make this claim: I am in love with Sara Palin! I am really impressed with her integrity. I'm not one to frequently have political debates because I often don't have the information to back myself up. Recently I've been more involved in what the candidates have to say about our country and about themselves, and about each other - because it's impossible to get away from, they can't stop talking about each other!



Moving on...this semester I'm working with local branch of the Special Olympics through my Leadership class. Although we haven't done anything so far other than attending a swim meet, my heart is already being softened to these athletes and their families. I had the opportunity of speaking with the parents of some of the athletes and it was so touching to hear the gratitude and excitement in their voices knowing that there were people that had a mission to help their children. Our main goal is to spread awareness to the four local counties here in the Pensacola area to get more involved with the Special Olympics whether it be donating time, money, getting more athletes, volunteers, equipment and hopefully connecting local businesses to the S.O. to establish continued financial support. Our general idea so far is to put on some sort of fundraising event such as a formal or concert. If anyone has further ideas or insight please share! I'd love to integrate other ideas into our's. but if you'd like to get involved or offer support at all, we're trying to instill the R-word campaign which is an attempt to boycott the "r-word" and start referring to these wonderful individuals as intellectually disabled. I would really appreciate you start integrating this into your life! its hard to at first, I'm not going to lie, but you don't realize how often people use that offensive word on a daily basis.




well, I will be writing more, that's enough for now:)

love from Pensacola <3

Happiness is a choice

Sometimes I let doubt cloud my sense of happiness and the things I value in my heart. I let uncertainty of the future ruin the trust I have in the decisions I make for myself.
Last night was such a refreshing epiphany for me in a situation i've been battling with a lot lately. I realized what truely makes me happy never stopped, I just stopped letting myself be positively affected by it. I have to just constantly remind myself to not doubt. Faith is such a strong entity of happiness.
I have been blessed with a wonderful person in my life, he's been my friend, my lover...always quick to lend a listening ear and look for ways to comfort me. I feel as though i've underestimated that desire in him recently because of self doubt i've had about me moving, and our future from here on out.
I'm confident in my choice to move away, but just as confident in my choice to spend these next months with this person who does make me so happy. And I trust us both to create a positive outcome from this situation we chose to be in.

You're my good night kiss...

You're my goodnight kiss and my morning smile.
You're my saving grace and a hand to hold.
You're my calm in the storm with a tender heart.
You're my cuddle buddy with a listening ear.
You're my sweet reminder that I haven't failed,
You're my second chance at a brighter today.
You're my big, strong prince; a loyal protector.
You're a reason to thank God for His precious gifts,
You're a constant encourager and a strong support.
You're a tingle that travels from my head to my toes,
You're a body I crave and a touch I can't resist.
You're the eyes I love to look into and the lips I long to kiss.
You're the arms that wrap around me that tell me I am safe.
You're the one I love to laugh with, even at my expense.
You're the one I hope to spend my tomorrow with.

new Plan of actions

Ok, so I know I've changed my mind a million times, but I'm allowed to! Its ok...so here's the new plan for school...I'm finishing my AA this semester at FCCJ, still applying to UNF as a back up plan, totally ditched the UF idea...but I'm going to pick 4 additional random schools around Florida to apply to, all over the state. I want to get out of Jacksonville for a while and I think this is the best time to do it. So hopefully, come January, I'll be moving...somewhere, anywhere!
As of now, the only other one i've looked at, but it is enticing, is University of West Florida in Pensacola. I know people who live there so I wouldn't be completely alone. Plus, ironically, after I looked at the website, I found out they're voted top 100 for Public Relations...how perfect! I just want to live somewhere away from here, somewhere beautiful, somewhere Different! I need a change. so....Please pray with me about this decision. It's kinda last minute considering this is in 5 months, i have to apply for these schools, visit them if necessary, get the money (applying for loans - its the only way moving away is gonna happen), get accepted, and decide! And, if anyone has any suggestions of schools to look into, please let me know! I'm not even really looking for big schools that everyone else we know is at, like UF, FSU, USF, etc....I'm kinda interested in smaller not big name schools around.
Good luck with school this semester to everyone who is starting/started!

New friend

So, this new person is in my life. He's wonderful, sweet, charming, good looking, caring, attentive, funny, responsible...everything I could ask for in a guy. We've been having so much fun, being silly, talking, doing a lot of fun things together without any expectations. It's a really good thing.
The no expectations part has taught me that I can be with someone and not have to expect them to be my everything. I can be with them and not fulfill thier every need. We can be together just because we enjoy eachother's company, not because we NEED eachother.
There is a high chance that this person may move away, which would ultimatly be the ending point of our summer fling (I never thought i'd have one of those!). He has a potential opportunity to move back home to be with his family and start a new beginning.
I'm writing this now, at this point of uncertainty, so i can say beforehand, before any decisions are officially made by him or any offers are made, i want to say that I support his decision no matter what. I want him to stay if thats whats best for him, but I most definatly want him to go if that is the better road he must follow. I don't want to be sad in the end, only hopeful of a friendship to continue from this attraction we've found. If we enjoy eachother, and this ends without any personal grudges, why not try for a friend out of the situation?
And...if he stays, I hope I have the strength to continue on this path of lighthearted attraction, growth, and trust.

A breath of fresh air

This life is nothing less than extraordinary, let me tell you! Every day is something new, even when my days melt together from the summer heat and I grow bored from the mundane schedule of just work, and nothing more. I'm getting pretty antsy waiting on school to start back up again. It's been four months since I've used my brain I feel like! Having classes and homework and studying again will definatly help me get back into the swing of things.
This summer has been a great turning point for me. So much has changed over the last four months, some things i'm not sure if I can actually pinpoint, while other's are quite apparant.
The lifestyle I was living before allowed a lot of uncertainty and heartache in and those are things I truly don't desire to have apart of my life. I know there are still things I need to work on and accomplish before acheiving the fullest quality of life, but it's a process and I'm content with where I am at this point along the path.
There has been a shift in the people I've been hanging out with, the activities I've been including myself in, and the outlook on life that I have aquired/am aquiring. People will always come and go and I do look at every relationship, whether lengthy or not, an opportunity for growth, whether that person specifically teaches you something or you just learn from observing them.
I hope, myself, to be one that can reflect my life on others, where they can learn from me. I want to, in turn, be able to help others through what I've gained from them.
I don't want to use the cliche quote "everything happens for a reason" here because I believe that everyone creates thier own destiny. Yes, there is a higher authority, God has a plan, but you decide what you are going to do with those tools, those relationships.
So this blog is an inspiration for myself, to continue creating my own destiny, figuring out daily what I want to put into creating me! Yes, I'm only 19 and just wanna have fun and live life day to day, make mistakes and learn from them, and flow with the wind; but I also want all of those experiences to create a better me.
So, here's to creating our own destiny's.
Cheers!

Another baby on the way...

I have a friend. Her name is Danielle. She's 18 years old. She lives in Philly and we visit eachother, once or twice a year, whenver we can. We've been best friends since we were 9 months old, when I moved here from Israel. Our parents actually knew eachother when our moms were pregnant with us.

Danielle called me tonight and left a voicemail on my phone and informed me she's 3 months pregnant. That means in six months she'll be a mommy. The wierd thing is it wasn't a shocker. She had said she had news, so it was either that or she's engaged, and for some reason, her being pregnant was more expected. She has been dating this guy Mark for about two years and they've talked about marriage.

The thing is that she's the fifth or sixth close friend I've had over the last 5 years that I've grown up with that has had a baby. But Danielle's not just a friend, she's not some girl, she's family, my sister. Just like Katy is, but when Katy got pregnant, she was the first one of my friends for that to happen to; it was my first time every having that kind of experience. I was fifteen and it was huge at the time. Now, having another friend get pregnant seems like no big deal, but what bothers me the most, what breaks my heart, is that Danielle lives 7 states away from me. We're lucky if we see eachother once a year, and now she's going to be giving birth in 6 months to this child. I'm not gonna know this kid. I'm going to China this summer for the month of July, I'll be back in the beginning of August, and then at the end of the month I'll be moving to Gainesville. I won't have the time or money to go to Philly. I won't see this kid, they won't know me. I'm not gonna be Aunt Gili.

It just breaks my heart that I can't be there for her. I want to be there. I want to be her support. I want to watch her belly grow. I didn't realize what a blessing it was that Katy was right across the street while she was going through this. I did'nt realize how much it meant to me for me to be able to be there for her through that time in her life. I can't do that with Danielle.

Please just keep Danielle in your prayers. That her family and friends who are close to her will be supportive. Pray for her safety and the baby's safety. Pray for a fullfilling and healty realationship between her and her boyfriend. Pray that she will be a wonderful mother. Pray for her to make wise choices along this path.